Thursday, June 21, 2007

Midsummer, St. John's Tide, Winter Solstice

What ever you call it, whatever season it is in your part of the world, whether you are beginning the long decline back to dark or the steady climb back to light, may the turning point of the year be blessed for you.

Wake Me When It's Over

It's just that I'm tired, is all.
This has been quite a year, and everything has felt like a monumental struggle and flailing around in the dark, hoping to get it right.
I want to make good choices, with money and time, and decisions about where and how we live, and the kind of work I do.

This year I've put a lot of effort into those things, but somehow they are not resolving clearly, the way I thought they would, and I'm left in a situation wondering if I'm trying too hard to get something to work that is just not meant to.
My energy is diffused over a wide area - getting this house ready to rent/us packed to move, finding a new house, earning money, writing a business plan, caring for the kids, figuring out how to get to/pay for school - mine and theirs.
Inevitably I'm up way too late, sewing or writing or packing, but after seven hours of dead sleep I'm awake and ready to go, albeit in a cold sweat.

Yesterday I started to read a book I've been wanting to read for ages, and kept forgetting to order from the library, called Expecting Adam by Martha Beck. I went to the library to do some work and it was on the shelf next to me. I recommend reading it yourself, because it's quite the story, but my experience from reading it was that I began to feel better, and more connected to the unseen forces at work in our lives.
The book describes well that we are never alone, and only need to ask for help to be given. I've known that for years, but sometimes when things are not easy or working out the way you expected, it's easy to think that everything is on your shoulders alone.

Yesterday was a good day then, and maybe a turning point, because Belle and I also had a happy thrifting experience, including finding this lovely girl for just $5.

I know nothing about her except that her clothes are handmade, and her back is whipstitched closed, again, by hand. But her face is like a painted canvas mask, so she is not someones kitchen table project, I don't think. I love her beautiful face and the color of her clothes, but I want to know more about her. Does anyone know about a doll like this? The sight, as well as the weight and heft of her, make me quite happy.
Also, in the good news department, I found out today that the kids school is giving us a HUGE break on tuition, and my girls and I made strawberry jam.
So the details are good, but the big picture is fuzzy. And I'm still just really, really like- swimming- through- molasses, tired.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Ahhh, Summer

Summer feels different now that the kids have school at either end of it. It really feels precious and delicious and to be savored - at least that's how I felt this week, our first of summer vacation.

We stayed home all week because Skaterboy was sick, but on Friday we went strawberry picking and managed to gather thirty pounds of delicious berries before noon. Who knows how much we ate there, either, just sitting on our haunches in the field lost in a reverie with juice dripping down our chins, but judging by the amount of laundry with red stains, I'd say quite a bit.
So it's been strawberries galore - on waffles, in smoothies,as gifts to friends and Grandma, and Little Belle made shortcake last night and although it took until almost ten o'clock we didn't care. It was divine. This week we'll make jam and eat strawberries all winter then too.

We stopped at the lake on our way home in a spontaneous sort of way, and the kids went into the water fully dressed. Although I was cringing a bit at the thought of getting them back in the car with no towels or spare clothes, the sun was warm, a breeze was coming up off the water, some of them were giggling as they tumbled in and out of the waves, one was humming to herself as she sifted stones through her fingers to find just the right ones to keep and another was trying to unobtrusively ogle all the girls in bikinis while keeping his cool. It was wonderful, and they rode home in their underwear. The little ones, that is.

This little lady has been visiting our deck every day for sunflower seeds and has gotten so tame that she skitters around my feet as I walk. I'm a bit afraid that she'll decide that climbing me is a quick shortcut to those yummy seeds I'm carrying, so we both dance around gamely but with a touch of nerves.

The twins were treated to a surprise tea party on the deck last week, and it even included a post-tea foot wash and aromatherapy massage. Why doesn't anyone ever do that for me I wonder?

And last but not least, Fathers Day, which involved the decorating of daddy's breakfast chair, duets of 'Happy Fathers day to You' sung to guess which tune, many cards with phrases such as 'my heart grows a rosebush', and two carefully wrapped bags of chocolate raisins. Who could ask for more?

Although my plan is to pack up a house and get it rentable this summer,as well as move to a new one, I plan to enjoy every day of this beautiful season in some small way. My little ones will start full day kindergarten in August, and my days will look really different.

There certainly won't be anyone setting up a flower stall on the sidewalk on a beautiful afternoon, will there?
These are the days.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

The Li'l Bunnys Club

We do love our bunnies here, and whole days can revolve around them. Today the living room was upended to create clubhouses for the Lil' Bunny Club members, and maybe another club too, because I found this letter on the bed written in purple crayon in a childish hand:

Dear club Rabbits by the rocky river I love your name. I think your club is the coolest ever! hows the cleaning up going? good luck with your club members, crafts and present colecting,
from lil bunnys club.

Bunny club members need to have new outfits designed for them,

and dresses measured and sewn.

It's very serious business, bunny dressmaking. They are very finicky about details and demand a high level of professionalism. Needless to say we are all kept quite busy with their needs and wants. How do you make something this small a bathrobe?

Here is Daisy looking quite lovely in her new made to order dress. I'm sure we'll spy her gadding about with the club Rabbits by the rocky river any day now in this little beauty.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Ten Reasons Why I Don't Blog More Often....

I so love reading the Bloggers that post every day, and I wish I was one of them. But, as I surveyed the landscape of my life today I realized that there were at least ten very good reasons why I can't seem to get to posting even every other day. These photos not only contain graphic images but they will dispel once and for all any illusions any of you may be harboring about my homemaking skills, so look at your own risk.
They are, not in order of preventative factors:

1. Cakes and the Bean. Need I say more?

2.Little Belle. A lovely child, and so creative.

3. Skaterboy. I have had one of these on the sofa like this for more than two weeks now. Different kid, same lurgy.

4. House hunting. Searching for a house that we like and can afford down by the kids school has become quite the all- consuming task. Surprise!

5. Cat puke. Every time I turn around there is another pile of this stuff waiting for me.

6. The yard. Mowing, weeding, picking up abandoned toys and bicycles, sweeping dirt that has mysteriously blown onto the paths.

7. The play space in the living room. See 1.

8. Lovely fabrics. They call to me after the children are sleeping, and I must answer.

9. Stuff. Here is where some of it awaits its final destination, most often these days the give away bag. I have been decluttering for years and still it's the stuff that's killing me.

10. The laundry. Stacks of it, folded, unfolded, clean and dirty. And as soon as I do it all, it must be done again.

So next time you are wondering why I must take forever between my posts, just refer back here and wonder no longer.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Cakes and the camera

I know, I've been away.
I have another post ready to go but have mercy, I'm so busy right now and up to my eyeballs in so many things, internal and external, it's amazing I'm dragging myself out of bed in the mornings, let alone staying up until after one to get my blogs posted.
I do feel I owe you fairly regular postings, and so I will try to be more constant.
This is an easy one though, to post.
It's what happens when Cakes takes the camera off on her way to preschool, and I don't know until I download the pictures. What a treat, to get a "her-eye-view".
(BTW, that's not my Audi I'm driving, but I like to pretend it is. It belongs to my friend, and she gets to drive my minivan, an anathema to her sensibilities, to carpool the kids, while I get the very lovely and speedy Audi for a short time. Don't we look good in it?)
D - he looks jolly tall here - does he look that big to her?

Not a great one of me, but true to the subject here. Look at all that green..

The Bean, lest her hat should blow away.

Finally, my favorites, the self-portraits.

I just want to know what she was thinking!